School, career, relationships—we copy what we’ve seen, or what we think is expected. Until one day something cracks. And through that little crack, questions start creeping in:
What if my life was different? Could it be?
We often don’t realize we have options
A friend told me how they cut contact with their parents. What hit me wasn’t the decision itself—it was that they hadn’t even realized it was an option. Someone had to ask them, “Why are you still in touch if it makes you so unhappy?”
That was their moment: Oh. I get to choose.
And that’s often how it happens. You don’t change because you wake up one day with a perfect five-year plan. You change because you realize that the path you’re on isn’t the only one.
And that’s exactly what we talk about on today’s episode of the Odder Being Podcast. Hit play on top of this post to hear the full conversation. Not ready to listen? Here’s a sneak preview of what we’ll be talking about…
My turning point was a summer night in 2016
For me, the wake-up call was a sleepover.
I was working a fancy consultancy job when a friend came to visit. We stayed up talking until late, and I took the next day off. My freelance friends? They didn’t need to ask anyone for permission. They just shifted things around.
It blew my mind.
I quit my job the week after and within a few months, I was working for myself.
I knew freelancing existed. But it never felt like something for me—until I saw people I trusted living it. Then, suddenly, I could see myself doing it too.
Why it’s hard to see the alternatives
We grow up in bubbles—families, schools, neighborhoods. Most people around us do things in similar ways. And if everyone around you is living the same way, it’s hard to even imagine that something else is possible.
Some people thrive inside those systems. Great. But others (maybe you?) feel like they’re constantly forcing themselves into shapes that don’t quite fit.
Tailor-made fits best
You know when you buy jeans off the rack and they kind of fit, but not quite? The waistband gaps or the legs are too short, or they pinch in all the wrong places. You can function in them, sure—but it’s not exactly comfortable.
That’s what life can feel like when you’re living by someone else’s blueprint.
Some people can throw on the default and feel fine. Others need something custom-made—something that takes into account their shape, their softness, their angles. And if you’re neurodivergent, queer, sensitive, or just deeply introspective… those off-the-rack expectations often feel unbearable.
You end up adjusting yourself over and over to fit what’s available, when really, the problem is the cut.
It’s not that you are wrong. It’s that the model wasn’t made with you in mind.
Finding what else is there
… on the podcast, we explore how you can explore more ways to live life in a way that works for you. You’ll even get a bit of homework if you’re up for it. Ready to listen? Hit play above or listen to the episode on Spotify or YouTube!
